Threadbare
by orys
Summary: I can feel your touch so deep that it's like I'm going to shut down.


I never remember it being so cold. The wind was howling against the haphazardly placed shutters, the sounds making the cabin sound like it had a life of its own. I swear I could feel the draft sneak up through the fabric of my dress and my under skirts, seeping into my bones and freezing me from the inside out. Winter was so harsh this year, and it was even worse that we were both separated from our families.

We are huddled up on the bed, your arms are wrapped rather tentatively around my waist. I'm sure you're just trying to keep me warm, but your fingers brushing over my hips was making my stomach bubble with feelings I've only ever had with Charming. This is so different to me. I don't think my body should react to you in this way. It's just so wrong. Right?

Your hair brushes against my face as you turn your head, your lips curling into a smile. My eyes are at level with your lips and I just can't help but stare at them. Have I ever told you that your smile is just so beautiful? No, I don't think so. I want to say something about them now, actually, though you open your mouth to speak. "Are you still going to find him? Did either of you talk after that fight you had?" you ask, your voice seemed so full of hope and was that.. jealousy? I think I'm hearing things. I'm going crazy.

"I don't know if it's meant to be," I mumble back, my fingers reaching up and playing with my own curls. I always had this habit of twisting strands of my hair when I am nervous. Though, why am I? It's not like I have any feelings for you. None that I would vocalize.

You laugh. Your very high and airy little laugh that I've come to love. Why are you laughing? Are you deeming my reply silly? "I'm really sure it's meant to be," you nod, your fingers slowly curling over my corset squeezing my sides just a bit. "He loves you, Snow. I'm sure of it." You just seem so keen on reassuring me. Do you want us together? Well.. of course you'd like to see your friend happy. "Who couldn't love you?"

A blush creeps on my cheeks; enough to surely turn my skin the brightest red known to man. "What if he just doesn't want to be found.. and this whole relationship is over because of that one little fight? I'm still nervous about looking for him," I admit, my never resting fingers now pulling at the hem of my corset. I think it needs loosened. I can't breathe all of a sudden. The ties feel just too tight, the knots you had laced up in the morning seem to be constricting my lungs. I never wished to be so concerned over my relationship with Charming.

Though that was the thing. I wanted to marry him, to be with him for my whole life, but I was never taught in the way of relationships - or in the ways of consummating a marriage. Mother was gone before all of that needed to be explained to me. Regina didn't bother giving me any talks; why would she waste her words on someone she hated more than anything? I was the girl that was clueless when I had my first kiss, I don't know what I'd mess up if it was more than a kiss Charming & I were sharing.

I think you sensed my skittish turn. I'm surprised you're not use to this by now. I always have this habit of turning into a docile little lamb in a matter of seconds. I sort of think that is what my step-mother hated most about me. You're different, though. I can feel your fingers threading through my hair. You're not judging me. I'm sure you have experience in this area, right? You just seem like you'd know everything. Perhaps you could be my saving grace.

Your arms move from around my waist, I already miss the warmth they provided. The wind moans outside and I, for one split second, think there is some dastardly monster outside. I'd check, but I don't want to leave your side. I can feel your eyes on me once again and I look back, a small smile gracing my lips. Perhaps all I said has been forgotten, and we don't have to deal with all of this awkward talk. "So.. you never-?" you cock your head to the side in the cutest way, trying to allude to something that would almost sound like taboo coming out from your soft, pink lips.

Could I just die now? My blush is definitely back, my face feels like it's on fire. You're judging now, aren't you? Princesses aren't really allowed to just give everything away before marriage. Is it that way for your kind, too? I mentally shun myself. You're not different from me. I'm no longer a princess. You're no longer some lowly peasant. We could be something better now, couldn't we? My fingers find their way to my skirt, raking up the fabric in my fingers and squeezing until my knuckles turn white. "N-no, actually," I reply, my voice is surely shaking now. Please don't make fun of me.

I see your teeth. You're flashing me the widest of smiles. What does that mean? I tip my head and run my eyes over your face, trying to read your features. I part my lips to speak, to ask you what is the matter, but all of my thoughts go out the window when I feel the softest kiss placed upon my lips. It's you._ You're kissing me_. I never thought you'd taste different from him, though, to be fair: his lips were the only I ever kissed.

My hands move to your cheeks, your very smooth and newly reddening cheeks. Have you done this before? I'm asking too many questions. Maybe if I just zoned out, everything would be okay. I don't stop you as you bite my lip. Even your bites are delicate. I've seen you as a wolf. I watched you tear Peter limb from limb and yet.. you can't even bring yourself to sink your teeth into me just a bit harder. Are you afraid I'll break?

Your lips leave mine and I can't even protest before your fingers curl in my hair, pulling my head back as light as you can to relocate your lips onto my neck. You have all control. You wouldn't abuse that power. Not you; who saved me from running, who protected me from a pack that thought I was an intruder. You're my best friend, Red.. and now I'm just letting you do this. _You can have me_.

My fingers find your chocolate locks, pushing them back behind your shoulders so I can touch your neck without any strands getting in my way. Your skin is so soft. Why haven't I noticed this before? The laces on the back of my corset are loosening, my breath coming to me all too quick. Gods, I can breathe again. I part my lips, letting out a sigh of relaxation just as you bite me once more. This time I can tell that it's right behind my ear. This is so new to me. I never so much as allowed Charming to touch me in this way, but I have no problem letting you in.

The corset comes off with ease and you toss it aside before moving to the laces of my under-shirt. Your hands aren't on my back this time, yet they are on my chest. I can feel some violent shock rise up in my body when you pull the leather through the loops of the top. Two.. four.. six. You do it so easily & so skillful, like you're unlacing a boot. You peck my skin with your lips and after you get the top loose, you lean down and plant kisses on my collarbones. This is different. I shouldn't be so willing to give this up so fast. Even to someone I know I can't marry.

You're still gentle, even when you push on my chest to get me on my back. I'm already weak, a burning sensation sweeping up my legs and to my core. This is something I should feel, right? I don't know what to do with my hands. Where do they go.. and where are yours? I think I lost them when they pulled up the hem of my under-shirt, your fingertips skirting so gracefully over my skin, my muscles all the way down to my bones. I can feel your touch so deep that it feels like I'm going to shut down.

Your hips are pressing against mine, your back arched as you lean down to kiss me, to take my lips a lot harder than the first time. I allow your tongue to prod them, to come into my mouth, to taste me. I feel more adventurous now, that I can do anything. My hands move to your chest and I squeeze your breasts through your top. It's only when I hear the moan that flutters between your lips to mine that I get that sudden rush of uncertainty. I've never even touched myself let alone another woman. I don't know what to do. Tell me what to do.

"I don't-" I begin, though a finger lands on my lips.

"Ssh," you smile lightly, your index finger tracing my bottom lip and to my jawline. It tickles, but I hold the shiver back. "You don't need to do anything. I'm just here to teach."

"Teach? B-but.. he's not-" My words turn into a broken moan. Your lips are back to my neck, nipping and sucking and kissing a few select spots. I think you're learning what drives me crazy. Not like I'd mind at all. The laces holding my pants closed are opened. Another breath of relief. My face drains of colour and I know what comes after all of this. You're going to touch me. I don't know what to expect, what I'm going to feel. Are you going to back out?

You pull your hand away from my pants, all ten of your fingers grabbing the hem of my under-shirt. I sit up like a willing puppet, lifting my arms so you can get the top off with ease. One more layer. Are you going to rid me of that, too? You push me back down, your hands going to mine to hold them beside my head. Our fingers link. There's a spark. I can feel it; can you? What if we want this to go on? Do we have to tell Charming? We should, shouldn't we? I feel like I'm going to hyperventilate. I'm already getting light headed.

Grazing a gentle line from my cheek to my ear with your nose, you whisper my name - so full of affection that I literally just gasp at that. I think I surprised you. You sat up rather quickly. "Did I hurt you?" you questioned, tipping your head as your hands slide up my sides ever so slowly that my hips involuntarily buck off the blankets. Your nails dig into my flesh, pinning my hips back to the bed. I only smile, rather lopsided and I shake my head, just hoping that's enough validation that I'm okay so you can go back to what you were doing.

I've always felt this quivering ache between my legs, sometimes at night when I was all alone and thinking things I shouldn't. Though what is there really to think about when you haven't done anything at all? No, this ache is much different. This ache is making every touch of your fingertips feel like some Holy light. Something that the Gods themselves invented just for me.

One of your fingers trails down my stomach. You pushed my final, thinner top up to the bottoms of my breasts. The cold air made everything so hypersensitive that even when you lighten your touch: it feels like you're pressing your hand so far into my body that even my insides could feel your skilled hands. "If I do anything you don't want me to.. just tell me to stop, okay?" Again, that smile along with those soft words. Another nod, that's all I can manage. My breath is hitched and I don't remember how to string words along to form sentences. Even two simple little words couldn't find their way past my throat and into the air.

You give me another gentle grin and I get to see your teeth again. Gods, you are a wonder. How have I not really _seen_ you before? The muscles in my stomach clench when you lean down, brushing your lips against my navel then up to my top. You push it up fully, allowing my chest to be exposed to the chill. I don't even care if it's snowing, if there's a blizzard, if we never find a way out of this cabin if the snow piles up right to the roof. You're keeping me warm. You're _making_ me warm. A playful smirk crosses your lips as you lean in, your tongue swirling around one of my nipples and I watch it raise into a hardened nub before closing my eyes tight.

I feel so embarrassed. No one has heard these noises admitting right from my stomach; deep low growls, some sounds that remind me of some bird call. You're so talented, so into it that I just can't pay attention to you anymore. I need to cover myself, my eyes. I set my hands on my face, my back arching just a little at every flick of your tongue, every graze of your teeth. You're teasing me and you know it's definitely causing every alarm in my head, my body, _my being_ to go off. You're not Charming. You're not my future husband, my fiancee. I shouldn't let you touch me like this. You shouldn't deserve to touch me like this; yet it's just so good, so pure.

"Move your legs," you instruct me, though your voice was laced with so much sweetness, that even minus the question mark, it sounded more curious and less of a command. I do what you say, moving them apart as your hand slowly slides in between the leather and my skin. All of those shocks before were nothing compared to this. I don't even know how to explain what you are doing, but it feels so amazing. My hands move to the sides of your face and I pull you into a kiss as I can feel your hand grinding against my center.

My hips start moving on their own accord, my teeth and tongue coming out to play as I try my hardest to taste as much of you as I can. This is new. This is exciting. This is.. breathtaking. Your other hand is pressed firmly on my chest, right between my breasts as if to hold me down. I pull your hair and you sigh, it's hypnotizing and low. I can taste your breath inside of my mouth and it's slowly becoming my favourite taste.

Your hand is pushing harder, but then I feel an intrusion inside of my body. Only when I can feel you smirk against my lips, I realize that your fingers hand found another spot to use against me. I'm already shaking, my legs twitching and my toes curling from inside my boots. You move your lips from mine and move them to my ear instead. You're whispering things, I can only hear a few words, though my brain is going fuzzy. My eyes shut as your fingers quicken their pace. I can feel them twisting and I can't hold on any longer. I can see colours and shapes and moving things from the back of my eyelids. Everything in my head sounds like an army of buzzing bees, though I can make out just a few of the words you are spewing in my ear right as I find my release:

_See? It's not so bad.. good girl.. nothing to be scared of_..

I ride your hand just a few more times before you decide to finally pull your fingers away. My eyes are still closed, my hands moving away from your hair to cover my face once again, though this time.. it wasn't because I was embarrassed. I just didn't want you to see me cry. I can feel the tears. I know you must be able to tell. I'm already shivering, hiccuping silently. I don't even know why my emotions got the best of me. I'm not upset. I don't feel dirty or that I was used, I didn't make a wrong choice. What if this was the right one? Maybe this was the way it was supposed to be the right decision all along.

"Snow..," you whisper. Your voice sounds different. You sound upset. I pull my hands away just a little, wiping my eyes as I go along, though that doesn't help whatsoever. "I'm sorry." Why are you apologizing? These are happy tears, I just don't know how to tell you that. Your arms wrap around my naked waist and it was then I could tell that you were just as warm as me. Would I have to reciprocate? I'm sure I couldn't be as good as you, but that doesn't mean I won't try.

I move into your grasp, curling into you like a vine to a tree. Though the funny thing is: is that you feel like my support system right now. If I were to move away from you, I'd die. Is it the same for you? I wouldn't really think so. I tilt my head up, watching your expression change once more at the sight of my tear streaked cheeks, though I'm sure the smile on my face is making this all hard to decipher. "Don't be sorry," I lick over my lips, my breaths still coming in a little uneven. "I'm," - how do I say these words? - "I'm glad it was_ you_." There's this light in your eyes that I haven't really seen before, after I speak. "I trust Charming," I admit, my eyes flitting from yours to your nose, then to your lips. Can I kiss you again? "But.. you're.. you're my best friend."

I feel your grip tighten. You're holding me so close that I can't breathe. My hands finally snake around your waist as I press my face into the crook of your neck. You take your legs and wrap them around one of mine, holding me closer, anchoring me down. I don't have to leave just yet. Charming can wait, can't he? I'll stay with you. I _want_ to stay with you. You smooth over my hair, wrapping strands around your fingers, pulling gently with a light smile on your face. Are you proud of yourself? That I gave myself up so easily for you? I'm sure even he wouldn't have gotten me defenseless so fast.. and I'm marrying him.

Your lips rub against my temple and it's then that I feel so serene and at ease. There's no pressure here, you're not trying to get me to do anything I don't want to. You laugh that very beautiful laugh and you whisper, "We don't ever have to tell him about this."

This could be just between us.


End file.
